Does anyone has the recipe for a complete change of mentality ? Like how not to be yourself ?

T^T

A few days ago, I went to my first interview, the last barrier that would allow me to enter the school of my dreams.

It was my turn to go so I held my head up and entered.

They were like 20 people staring (down) at me from the other side of the (court) room, and one of them mouthed something like ‘sit down’

I did.

Bad guess.

Actually it was more like ‘come over there and hand us your id’

What a great first impression of an uneducated person I made.

Then the director of the school asked me to introduce myself.

Needless to say how much of a very articulate person I was, they must have been blinded by the self-confidence I was radiating.

It was sarcasm, in case you didn’t notice.

Then there came one of the last questions, it went like this:

Me : (Tries to give an explanation, mildly satisfied with myself)

The director : Elaborate

Me : (Continues to explain, looses all consistency, says incoherent things, contradict myself in the process)

My brain : I’m shutting off in 3, 2, 1 ….

Me : (Cut myself in mid-explanation, stares at the Director as if it was normal)

The Director : How do you think this interview went ?

My brain : Say that it went well and get the hell out of- eeeek, did you see his face!? Don’t say such a stupid thing! It obviously was pathetic! Nooooo, don’t you dare say that you fool! Don’t give him a hook ! Don’t-

Me : um, average ?

The Director : And do you think we take average people ?

…..

I came out of there kinda questioning my existence.

themisadventuresofmaddy:

do you ever feel like you’re just sort of 

there

like all your friends go out and do things and get into relationships and like people that like them back and have fun and do stupid things with their best friends and instead of doing all that you’re just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but they wouldn’t really care if it was gone

like you just sort of exist but you don’t really mean anything

(via uchi-uchi)